Journey towards Self-Realization

We are the summation of our past experiences and the product of our hopes and desires.

Life is like playing a board game. All of us wants to get to the finish line. Sometimes we play snake and ladder game, bitten by situations of bad luck causing us to move backward or inspired by ladders of success allowing us to elevate higher and nearer to our goals. Sometimes however we play a millionaires' game, monopoly. We just roll our dice and just buy anything we want, roll a dice and get to the finish line and roll the dice once more and defeat all the people whom we see as obstruction to our path. I guess like board games, we win at times and we lose most of the times. However somehow we get tired of playing but we can't end this game of life. We are bound to wake up each day and rush to work and kiss someone else ass. We are bound to make money and make more and more money. We are not allowed to get sick but somehow sickness is good for it gives us an excuse to stop, pause for awhile and take care of ourselves. This is the same with every defeat or failures in life. It allows us to reflect what we have done so that we can move   ahead faster and with greater vigor.

When I was younger I used to help old ladies crossing the street. There was one time that I helped an old lady then after she thanked me right after crossing the street in a blink of an eye she disappeared or maybe its just my vivid imagination when I was young. I also helped this old man cross the street and he asked me from  what school I am studying and when I said University of the Philippines, he exclaimed "ah! that's why your good". Truth be told, I never consider myself good. I have always had my share of shame or atleast society's dictate push me to be the villain in the eyes of all my classmates from elementary until high school but I don't blame them, way back in those days I really didn't care much about my classmates, I only care to get high grades and please our professor. When everyone don't want to attend class, I will always stay in class. When everyone cheats in assignments I refused to cheat let alone share my answers to others. I was an outcast when I was young which somehow shadows the way I look at myself in the present... but I learn.

Adult world is not very different from the growing up years. We don't compete for grades but we compete for performance. I was a Valedictorian before and I pushed myself to be the sales manager of the year back in 2007. I always push myself forward and really don't care of anyone else except my parents until some Delilah came to my life. My values was contested so as my conviction on what is wrong and what is right. Deeper and deeper I dug a whole burying all the things, the thoughts that I hold once dear. I never realize the power of Delilah, I never realized how Cleopatra subdued Mark Anthony nor Romeo killed himself for his Juliet until I saw it happening to me and I can't blame anyone but myself for being vulnerable for such human emotions.

But I guess everything is but a journey. I don't know if these Delilah's are like snakes in the board game, who knows I think they can be ladders at times helping us to reach our goals in life. If only I was like a Noynoy Aquino or a Manny Pangilinan being able to sacrifice my admiration to such beautiful creations for the good of the country or a business empire, but I'm not like them. You cannot feel warmth of the cabinet nor scratch your balls in spreadsheets everytime. I guess like Shakespeare, Im inspired by Juliets of this world allowing a better flow of ink to blank paper thereby creating a masterpiece. I guess Im also like a Leonardo Da Vinci painting a Monalisa even not completing her eyebrows because of either time constraint or other preoccupations but such still becomes a perfect work of art. I do agree with Abraham Lincoln when he rose from the ranks from a lowly post to being the President of America because he was inspired by his love.

So when will the story ever end? Only in fairy tales do they end stories with happily ever after. In real life stories are usually ended tragic or with grief. I guess the story ends each day. For each new day is another story to be written and another journey of oneself to be realized. It is up to us how we end each story.